How to Flirt Over Text: Tips, Tricks, and Examples to Try

Text flirting is one of the best parts of getting to know someone new. It can work wonders in the bedroom too — to help keep the spark alive, that is!

With the right combination of playfulness, inquisitiveness and charisma, you can step into some of the most energetic, thoughtful and inspiring dialogues around that inform and motivate. Whether you’re teasing them with a flirty joke or flirting over text with a cute story about your day, the important thing is to be yourself and listen.

Here are some down to earth tips to help you flirt and have fun with text.

Starting a Flirty Conversation

Flirting over text can be a fun, flirty way to bond with someone you like. It’s not magic—it’s a conversation starter. It’s more about the spark that gets both sides interested in taking the conversation further. Read on for a few tactics that will allow you to initiate a playful chat with zero awkwardness.

1. Use Playful Openers

The best way to begin any flirty convo is with a cheeky opener. We think this might be the secret sauce to rekindling that passion and curiosity. Some ideas include:

• Are you this flirty IRL, or do you only bring it out over iMessage?
• If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!
• Today I was really hoping I’d see your name come up in my notifications.

Being bold and sincere about your interest will get you pretty far. Reference previous encounters. This will help establish the bond, developing a sense of comfort and friendliness. Following up with plans to hang out again elevates things out of just flirting territory, and communicates your interest.

Emojis work really well in these messages. A wink or smiley face never hurts when trying to keep things flirty. Just don’t forget to keep it to two per message or you’ll end up with a wall of text.

2. Show Clear Interest

Showing interest means not just flirting but calling them beautiful and inquiring about their day. A genuine, “How was your day?” or “You looked beautiful the last time I saw you,” lets her know you’re interested and thinking about her.

Use emojis as a litmus test for intent. Choose emojis that match your purpose. A heart or a thumbs up can be magical, but only when combined with words to provide context and the emotional nuance. Don’t go overboard with emojis—too many can wash your message out and come off as childish.

Keep it simple to maintain your texts flirty.

3. Tease Lightly and Kindly

A little playful ribbing can set a lively tone, but be sure to avoid red flags like teasing about weight or looks. Don’t make fun of sensitive topics such as a person’s weight, appearance, or pet. Instead, to flirt, express genuine admiration to leave the other person feeling special.

If you’re smart with humor, it can help you maintain a lighthearted tone throughout the conversation. Balance is very important, giving both sides an opportunity to share and converse on an even playing field. This creates a fun and flirty interaction, where nobody gets freaked out.

4. Ask Fun and Open Questions

Open-ended questions that set the stage for flirty teasing back and forth help keep the discussion going. Start with something fun—try “What’s your go-to karaoke song?” or “If you could hop on a plane right now, where would you go?

Photos or audio messages, if used judiciously, help build that personal connection. Try to keep audio notes to 60 seconds or less, just like a regular voicemail, to avoid putting pressure on the recipient. Light teasing and playful flirting can easily change the mood, making it easier to move out of the friend zone.

5. Keep the Tone Positive

So much of this is attitude and positivity. Give lame pick-up lines a wide berth—no one likes the buzz kill. Rather, lead with a flirty hook. No one likes to be triple texted and look desperate, so give the convo some time to breathe.

Be confident, since confidence can create an attractive and memorable first impression that will motivate them to return the favor. Keep in mind, as dating coach Connell Barrett points out, 80% of people like texts that are short and flirty.

Flirting Strategies Over Text

Flirting over text is a delicate art form that combines the right mixture of creativity, confidence, and quirky charm. For most of us, particularly those who grew up on IM, this mode of communicating is second nature. Yet, it’s as simple and intuitive as flirting in person.

At the same time, it’s key to consider how messages may be perceived and act with respect and consideration of boundaries. Here’s what you need to know to make sure your text-based flirtation is creative, enjoyable, and successful.

Be Bold About Your Feelings

So if you’re feeling something, just say it. When you communicate in a straightforward way, it comes off as confident and genuine. Never be afraid to call people out.

Even a quick, casual line, like “I love chatting with you” or “You’ve been on my mind today”—goes a long way and can totally brighten someone’s day. Simple, direct statements take away the guesswork and make it clear to everyone that you’re committed to being open.

It’s about establishing intimacy and making the other person feel valued and unique.

Reference Past Meetings

Reminiscing on shared experiences is a great way to deepen a new flirtation. By mentioning previous meetings, you let them know that those encounters stuck with you.

Tell them about something hilarious that happened the last time you hung out. Rehashing an inside joke will not only make them smile, it’ll bring back memories of all the fun you shared with one another.

Beyond that, it shows that you’re not over her, that you’re listening, and that you appreciate and miss everything you two went through together.

Plan Future Hangouts

Discussing plans to meet up in the future not only builds anticipation, but demonstrates that you’re looking for opportunities to be together again. Suggesting a casual meet-up, like grabbing coffee or attending a local event, can convey your desire to see them again.

It creates more space for deeper in-person connections and to create a sense of build-up. Keep in mind though, when planning it’s really important to be mindful of when and what they like.

Utilize Emojis in Texts

With emojis, you can inject a little playfulness into your texts, helping to keep things light and flirty. A well-placed emoji can help you avoid a miscommunication.

When paired with music especially, it powerfully expresses feelings that words alone can’t always capture. For example, an emoji like a wink or a smiley face can make your tone a little more friendly and flirty.

Caution — don’t go overboard. Moderation is key to keeping your flirty conversation engaging without coming on too strong.

Speak Your Mind Clearly

Being clear with your intentions is very important, especially when it comes to flirting over text. Because messages can be easily misinterpreted, being straightforward protects you from any miscommunication.

Keep it short and sweet in your texts. Ask meaningful questions to show that you care and that you’re interested in the other person.

High-quality texts will yield a much better positive response rate than a thousand half-hearted or haphazard texts. This method honors the flow of the conversation while showing you’re not hasty and are considerate.

Dos and Don’ts of Emoji Usage

Choose Appropriate Emojis

Flirting over text depends on the perfect emojis. Picking the right ones can go a long way in helping you convey just the right amount of mirth and mischief. Emojis such as the smirk, tongue, fire, or purple devil are popular choices, given their flirty and sassy interpretations.

To create a connection, they recommend a sprinkle of flirtation, but not too much. Kerry, Julia, Jess, and Lily have fun with these emojis in their emoji-flirting sexting game. They truly bring an added level of fun and mischievousness!

Not every emoji suits every stage of a relationship. For instance, a red heart emoji (❤️) before a first date might seem too intense and can be perceived as a red flag, as noted by Julia and Kerry.

Red hearts are sometimes seen as overly sentimental or even “corny as fuck,” according to Jess, which might send the wrong message if the relationship is just budding. It’s crucial to read the room—or in this case, the text conversation—and choose emojis that align with where you both are in the relationship journey.

Avoid Overusing Emojis

Emojis add context and nuance to your written conversations. If you use too many, emoji can overwhelm your recipient and undercut your message. Both Julia and Kerry found their partners to be emoji-abusers in the beginning.

To them this felt like overkill in a way that came across as contrived, if not disingenuous. Too many emojis can give the overall sense that the sender is not professional. Julia, Katie, and Kerry warned that it can easily be perceived as just doing a numbers game.

Don’t go overboard and make your writing an eyesore. Don’t let the emojis do all the talking—let your words convey the message, and let emojis provide the sizzle.

The laughing face emoji (😂) is the most used emoji globally. As Kerry points out, it can feel like a very cheap or lazy solution to awkward situations.

Indicate that you’re laughing with words, or a straightforward “haha.” This kind of approach really does a great job of coming across as sincere and warm.

Pair Words with Emojis

It’s a tricky skill to master but the right combo of emojis and text could turn a bland tweet into an unforgettable campaign message. Emojis can enhance your message but they can’t carry it.

On a first date follow up, a kissy face emoji (😘) along with an affectionate text can come off as intimate and sweet. As Kerry underscores, this all seems like an invitation to show real interest and warm-heartedness.

On the other hand, using emojis in an overly stuffy tone might read as “trying too hard to be hip.” This approach can put a wall between you and the people you want to reach.

It’s all about achieving that happy medium where the emoji does a better job of replacing or augmenting your word while offering added context to your goal. Words and emojis can create some real masterpieces when combined.

Whether a playful nudge or a sincere expression, a photo can deliver a narrative that words sometimes just can’t capture.

Maintaining Playful and Respectful Tone

Texting can be a flirty and fun medium to bond with each other. Only be sure to keep it playful and within the spirit of respectful fun. It really is about that balance between being playful and reverent.

Compliment Sincerely

Nothing feels better than a compliment and a reminder of how appreciated and valued you are. It’s like tossing in a dash of candor spice into your dialogue. Instead of going for vague platitudes, zoom in on the one detail that makes this person unique.

Perhaps it’s their delightful irony, or their penetrating intellect on a subject you both nerd out about. When you showcase these attributes, you establish an authentic bond. Keep in mind, sincerity transcends the screen, and when your gratitude comes from the heart, it’s felt 100 times over.

Specific compliments should never be on sensitive topics, like weight or appearance, which can make them feel uncomfortable.

Use Humor Wisely

Playful, respectful humor is a great opener, too, infusing conversations with optimism and fun right from the start. The main thing is to maintain a playful and respectful tone, making sure that all humor is good-natured and not at any individual’s expense.

Banter, when it’s appropriate, can even turn into playful, flirtatious back-and-forths that are enjoyable and captivating. It’s very necessary to avoid mocking around sensitive areas that could be sore. Instead, joke about some experiences you both have, or some inside joke the two of you can have a laugh about.

A well-timed quip can help keep the conversation light and fun, but remember to stay playful and professional.

Avoid Being Overly Sexual

Flirting doesn’t need to be obvious to work. It’s about creating space for wonder and curiosity. Continuing to let the conversation be a flirtation instead of an ultimatum keeps the interaction playful and inquiring.

When you’re first getting to know someone, it’s always best to play it safe and not go right into hypersexual territory. This method honors boundaries and maintains a more relaxed interaction. By being aware of the other person’s comfort level, you can help make sure that the interaction is fun and pleasurable for both of you.

Keep Conversations Balanced

A productive dialogue takes two partners dancing delicately along, each partner leading as much as following, to a much more harmonious place. Answering with “yes” or “no” can kill that rhythm, so you have to be willing to go all in.

By asking good questions you not only demonstrate genuine curiosity, you encourage the other person to tell you more about themselves. This maintains both the playful and respectful tone of the dialogue.

Double-texting is completely acceptable in most circumstances. On the other hand, if you find that they’re not responsive, it’s best to restrain yourself from bombarding them with several follow-ups.

Short messages with clear asks work best. Include a short, reflective audio comment to promote a smart, lively, and highly respectful discussion. A helpful guideline is to keep your audio notes under 60 seconds to ensure they’re short but powerful.

Advanced Flirting Techniques

Text flirting might seem overwhelming when you’re getting started. When you stop thinking about it like a chore project and start thinking about it as a fun interaction, it becomes this amazing thing! It’s all about making them feel special and appreciated. The art of flirting works best with small gestures, subtle glances, and little interactions to convey interest. Here are some advanced techniques to take your text flirting game to the next level.

Use Photos with Care

Photos are a great way to make your conversations feel more personal, but use them strategically. Sharing a picture of something that reminds you of the person or a snapshot from your day can create a sense of closeness. It’s as if you’re allowing them to look behind the curtain.

A photo of your morning coffee is cute, sure. Add a caption about missing someone who used to share it with you, and it gets even more charming! You don’t want to blow your text buddy’s mind by sending way too many pics. One or two well-timed shots can be engaging, but overwhelming them with photos may be overkill. You’re trying to improve the quality of your relationship, not overwhelm her.

Send Audio Messages Occasionally

Audio messages bring your voice into the mix, injecting warmth and personality into your texts. There’s a special alchemy to hearing someone’s voice that reading words on a page just doesn’t match. You don’t have to do anything big; you can start really simply with just a quick note that says, “Hey, just thinking about you!

Or tell us a joke in lieu of an essay. These short clips can help shake up a long stretch of reading and add a new level of excitement to the engagement. Do be considerate about whether the other person is comfortable getting audio messages. Not everyone is in an environment where they can tune in immediately, so maybe send an email to gauge interest first.

Escape the Friend Zone Gently

Getting out of the friend zone takes some finesse and time. Guide the conversation to subjects that highlight your shared passions and parallel journeys. This indicates that you are ready and willing to take things to the next level.

Compliments, used appropriately, can be your best friend here. Avoid broad statements and find one or two things you really appreciate about them. Specific things, like how much you enjoy their sense of humor or how great of a listener they are, come off as more genuine and meaningful.

The most important thing is to be genuine and follow your heart in how you steer the conversation. Being open about your intentions, while still respecting their boundaries, can gradually shift the dynamic from friends to something more.

Flirting is not as complicated as you think. As Tara Fields, PhD, advises, it’s not about the game plan but about true connection. Show your passion for what you do! Get creative with those emojis, and remember that the small things sometimes leave the largest impressions.

It’s okay to double-text, just be aware when to stop so you don’t bombard them.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Flirting over text is a cheeky and adorable way to bond with someone. It’s just as easy to fall into the habits that might communicate the opposite. Join us as we explore some frequent missteps and how to artfully avoid them.

Avoid Boring Openers

Because the opening gambit of a conversation determines the nature of all that comes after. Landing on an empty page and jumping in with a clunky “Hey” or “What’s up?” is like kicking off a symphony with one note. Rather, think about how the hook of a question or a surprising observation gets the audience hooked.

To start the conversation, you might say something like, “I’m still thinking about how amazing that coffee was!” This communicates that you are proactive and sensitive to your previous touchpoint. It’s akin to brushing the canvas with a masterpiece of your mutual experiences, laying down a canvas for the dialogue to flourish.

Well-timed, specific expressions of appreciation—like “I enjoyed your article on hiking”—show that you’re paying attention and going beyond the form letter. They refer to specifics, not just a general “You rock.

Don’t Triple Text

Texting is often an art of timeliness and waiting. Following up with a barrage of notes before you even receive a reply can make you seem quite aggressive — not to mention egotistical. Meeting someone unexpectedly at a party and trying to talk over them is an uncomfortable encounter.

You’d certainly leave a bad taste in their mouth! It shows that you value their time and interest by allowing them the space to respond. If you’d like to avoid losing the thread of a great exchange, ask follow-up questions based on the things they say.

Keep the momentum going by matching their texting pace! Mirroring their style and timing goes a long way in creating a more natural flow, helping the interaction to feel even and respectful.

Approach with Confidence

Confidence is attractive and can enhance your text game significantly. It’s not about boasting, rather showing a sincere interest in the other person. Engaging them with thoughtful questions about their day or interests can make them feel valued and heard.

Avoid making the conversation all about yourself, as this can make the interaction feel one-sided. Steer clear of overwhelming them with lengthy paragraphs or intense messages. Respect their boundaries by gauging their comfort level and adjusting your approach accordingly.

Confidence means knowing when to back off, ensuring you’re not intruding into personal territory without permission. Remember, sending private or intimate content without consent can cross lines and seem inappropriate.

Key Takeaways

• Opening a flirty conversation over text can be as easy as using playful openers that create intrigue and conversation. Start with a compliment or question about their day. It demonstrates that you’re truly interested and helps to make the exchange more dynamic.
• Emojis increase emotional expression and help make your texts more playful. Use emojis selectively and sparingly to avoid mudding the waters and sounding juvenile.
• If it’s all friendly and good spirited, light and kind teasing can help set the mood. Yet, it’s important to avoid crossing the line with humor by being creepy, disrespectful, or making the other person uncomfortable.
• Asking flirty questions keeps things light and flirty. Plus, it leads to richer conversations, letting you both get more on the same level and really discover each other’s unique personalities.
• Sending the right photos and audio messages can increase attraction and make a relationship feel more personal. Just be sure to keep the other person’s comfort and boundaries in mind.
• Most importantly, confidence is key when it comes to flirting over text. Steer clear of lame pick-up lines and triple texts. This will raise red flags and just make you look thirsty. Come with an open heart and mind, and you will make a strong impression and invite the same in return.

Conclusion

When done right, texting can lead to flirty exchanges that are exciting, fun and lead to more meaningful connections. Knowing how to flirt over text Finding the playful tone that’s still respectful keeps a text convo flirty without being inappropriate. Making use of emojis adds warmth and personality, while avoiding common pitfalls keeps interactions smooth. We explained how to initiate a cute conversation and keep the banter going like a boss. It’s really just about having fun with it and trying to inject a little bit of your own self into those text messages. Just a few tips and a bit of imagination can make a world of difference, as can a little trial and error. So, take the plunge, shoot your best flirty text, and let things progress from there. Want to unlock this flirty fun side of texting? Try these out and see your texting game become more powerful and more engaging.

Frequently Asked Questions